Since this is April 1, I thought we might enjoy some light-hearted jokes for April Fool's Day!
My dentistry patients are called and reminded the day before their scheduled appointments. During an office visit, one man was in an especially good humor and explained why. “My staff kids me about the high opinion I have of myself,” he said. “Yesterday your receptionist left a message that had them in stitches.”
He related the memo his secretary had handed him: “Your crown is ready.”
— Contributed by Michael M. Stryker
Our manager at the restaurant where I worked was a much beloved, jovial man. But there was one subject you didn’t dare discuss in front of him — his height. Or, should I say, his lack of it. One day, he stormed through the door and announced angrily, “Someone just picked my pocket!” Most of my fellow waitresses and I were speechless, except for the one who blurted out, “How could anyone stoop so low?”
— Contributed by Bette Moeggenborg
Shortly after graduating from veterinary school, I rode with my mother in the Michigan Trail Riders’ annual trek across state. Late one afternoon, I was summoned to look at a horse that had reared up and flipped over in his trailer. Fortunately the horse was not seriously injured, but some lacerations needed stitching.
As I worked, I heard my mother chatting with the perturbed owner. “Don’t worry, sir,” she said. “My daughter’s a great vet. She’ll fix your horse up just fine.”
“That’s good to hear,” said the man. “How long has she been a vet?”
“A week,” replied my mother, proudly. Then hastily she added, “But she’s been embroidering since she was eight years old.”
— Contributed by Mary Ellen Linn
From http://www.greatcleanjokes.com/ :
Harry walked over to the Priest after services, “You know Father, I am really stuck in a quandary I would like to attend church next week but I just can’t miss the big game next Sunday, it’s just out of the question.” “Oh Harry Harry” said the Priest putting his arm around Harry, “don’t you know? that’s what recorders are for.” Harry’s face lit up “you mean I could record your sermon?”
A friend of mine was in front of me coming out of church one day, and the vicar was standing at the door, as always , to shake hands with the worshipers. He grabbed my friend by the hand and pulled him aside. The vicar said to him, “You need to join the army of the Lord.” My friend replied, “I’m already in the army of the Lord, Father.”So the vicar inquired, “Then how come I only see you at Christmas and at Easter?” My friend whispered back, “I’m in the secret service.”
Knock Knock Who is there? Broken pencil Broken pencil who? Ah never mind. it’s a pointless joke.
Knock Knock! Who’s there? Dewey. Dewey who? Dewey have to keep saying these jokes!